Welcome to South Dakota
HOLIDAY
ROUTE 66
Ladies and gentlemen, speaks Captain, Rusty Griswold
I hope you enjoyed your flight 18 minutes from South Bend
land at Midway Airport in Chicago soon .
thank you fly with us today...
because Econo Air, work hard to regain their trust.
Harry, can you handle? I go to the bathroom.
Sure, Rusty.
Thank you.
Rusty.
I want to thank you for interceding for me last week.
I did gladly.
I think the company old to fly, you do not.
're More expert than us young people.
- It means a lot to me. - Insurance.
Rusty.
Intercedieras want to thank you for me last week.
Yes
Sure.
Dad, that's the pilot?
Sure.
Just leave the cockpit.
- Hello, little friend. - Hello!
Your first by plane?
Were planning to go by car...
But Tyler begged us to travel by plane for the first time.
Really?
Do you think I can be a pilot when I grow ?
I do not see why not.
Just must study hard and obey your parents, okay?
- Okay. - Sorry about that.
- It was a mess. - It's okay.
Yes, yes.
Do not worry.
We call "turbulence".
As the plane passes...
I'm sorry.
Good. Enjoy the rest of the flight.
's Help.
Could it get away from us, shit?
Harry! You climb to 18,000 meters! What are you doing?
Rusty.
I want to thank you for interceding for me last week.
STOP AIR TRANSPORT PERSONAL
O that Pan Continental time we stayed at the Ritz in Barcelona.
I'll tell you something about the Spanish.
- They love the pilots. - Yes!
I never took off my uniform until yes.
MIDWAY International Airport
Ladies.
It is full. Waiting for the next.
- But I came... - What?
I'll take the next one.
See, Econo Air.
next bus in 25 minutes
- Three times this month. - I know
Do something with it.. Always bothers me.
I know. Sorry honey. Hello.
- Hello. What happens here? - You will see.
Kevin! Baja, please!
- "I Vagina". - Look at my guitar.
Not again.
God. Did you tell Mom and Dad?
're As "vagina".
Enough. Enough.
Young man, talking about annoy your older brother.
Do not make fun of anyone just because it is different.
I have no pussy!
Say that while you were...
would be wrong for Kevin mock you for your vagina.
No! You make it sound like I have pussy!
I know you have vagina. I'm not doing that.
Kevin, apologize to your brother please.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Go to your room.
I was in my fucking room.
Hey. Kevin? Come back here.
Listen.
Many children born with vagina.
It is very hard for them.
Honey. Why?
To show affection.
Fluency gender? A very serious issue.
- I am not gender fluid. - Does not matter.
Matter what...
your mother and I would love you if you had nothing down there.
It is not what matters.
Kevin? Go to your room.
James, your gender fluid do not touch me.
- Great. - Enough! Not a fluid!
What about my guitar?
Is ruined.
Let me see.
Toma. It will be fine for now.
Go to wash. The Peterson come to dinner.
Well, honey.
- I have a penis. - God
'll buy a new guitar..
- Use the Vitamix. Dry. - I just grind it.
Sheila.
- Do you have to work tomorrow? - Sheila.
I Want to meet with my friends.
Sheila.
What?
Like school this year?
Okay.
"Like school this year?"
So you sound, really. Just shut up.
God, Russ, you have to buy a kit Go-Kart.
- What? - Yes.
Gary and I spent two months building one.
This morning we took it for the first time.
Good heavens.
- Funny? - No, it was horrible.
Yes, it was fun!
Damn! It is a go-kart.
Friend G, Come here.
Friend G, G friend, friend G.
God, my friend G. I love.
Come here, what?
What? Than?
Come here, you come here.
I love you so much.
Di Mr. Griswold how is our go-kart.
Have Zanardi chassis and engine Briggs & Stratton four-stroke.
Go. And they built together?
A day after his task and brushing teeth.
I love... Come here. Come here.
Do, Sugar Ray. Come on, Sugar Ray.
I is taking a beating.
You'll eat your face!
Kevin James, come!
No.
Come on.
There you are.
- Dad, stop. What are you doing? - We fight lies.
- We do it all the time. - No never.
- Hey! Do not hit your old. - I do not want to do this.
What are you doing?
- So accidents happen. - Sacrifice!
Dad! Let go. Enough! why did you do that?
Sorry friend. Come on. Just kidding.
- It was fun. - Always.
We never do that.
Do we build a go-kart together?
If necessary.
Yes! Very good! Friend G!
Now go. You go, dude G!
You stole the nickname of my child?
I'm not sure... Rays. Dammit.
Are you left the ring, Deb. Are you losing weight?
Yes You know what I was doing?
Spinning.
Yes great for relieving stress.
I'll tell you what relieves stress more.
A week in Paris.
My God! I saw that in Instagram.
Your photos are great.
- The saw. - Yes!
How curious. was going to ask why you did not like any.
What do you mean? I said yes.
All my friends who saw, put "like".
You were the one that made not "like".
I guess I did not have time to put "like" any.
Okay, look at this.
In it are Sheila and Gary with berets.
- I know. - "Bonjour".
- That I love. Tender. - But "not like".
Okay.
Here are the four at the Arc de Triomphe.
Not you like. Neither my children. O my man kissed me.
I swear that when they leave...
I go up, I will come and put Internet "likes" in each.
Honestly, honey, I do not care .
Iran somewhere special this summer?
No. I wish. Yes. No.
go to the cabin we rented 10 years in Cheboygan, Michigan.
- Go. The boys tell Che-burrido "
Is not it funny
Why not go elsewhere
No. We can not Rusty loves
Know I tear the hate
- Heaven understand - Yes.
.... I understand
Well, you know what the good news
Even if you go there and not have fun, cute?. ..
know...
I'll "like" in your photos
God, Nancy.
Look
What the fuck is this
Loui
- Fight baguettes! - Hahaha! What a laugh
What the fuck is this
How much you waste paste
What are you doing, Melinda?
What are you doing
ready to have fun
VELOCIRAPTOR AN EVENT IN EXTINCTION LEVEL </. b>
I have exciting news.
James has "AIDS"?
What? Do not! That's horrible.
- I'd be thrilled. - What is? Than?
The four will travel.
Paris!
No. Much better.
We will go by car to Walley World.
- What? - We are stuck in a rut.
We need a change. do not? Share quality time.
And it would not hurt that guys learn to get along better.
- Locking them in a car? . - Yes
They are pure nonsense!
Hey. The mouth.
I lose the first week of wrestling practice !
We'll find a field on the way.
That does not even exist!
Dad, no offense, but...
not do my first long trip a corporate theme park.
I would like to explore the real America. As Jack Kerouac, Merry Pranksters.
Do not say weird shit!
Kevin! Do not bother!
Boys. My trip to Walley World child was the best thing that happened to me.
Do you want to repeat your holiday 30 years ago?
Would not it be a disappointment?
Not repeat anything, is totally different.
In the holiday there was a boy and a girl.
In these, there are two children.
And I'm sure there will be many differences more.
I not even heard of that vacation.
No matter. The new holiday will own value.
Right?
Come on, honey.
We can go by car and return by plane.
What the hell.
It could not be worse than that silly cabin, right honey?
- That's the spirit. - All right.
Swallow me earth.
So many kilometers in a car, Dad?
Not exactly.
Come on, why they did not follow me?
- Is that what you wanted? - Yes. That's why I moved my keys so.
- Good. - Because I would do?
You could say "come with me".
Look what dad rented.
What the hell is that?
Kevin.
Prancer is a Tartan 2015
- You said "Tartan", honey? - Yes, it's a Honda Albania.
Why an auto Albano, Dad?
I rented this wagon Day of the fallen, it is difficult.
But this baby is very good.
You have the latest technology Albanian. Look.
Electric hybrid.
Go. Ecological. All right.
If we run out of fuel...
stopped and plugged.
I do not know what that is.
I never saw a plug as well.
Is retractable?
Would think so. Just...
No, does not retract.
Mats?
I think it is wound. It rolls up well.
No? And you close.
Whatever. Two fuel tanks .
- Why two? - Freight twice.
- Why not a single large tank? - Charging twice, man.
Volume be the same. Two...
has six ashtrays.
Six, go.
I Hope you like smoking.
- Yes? - Yes.
So many mirrors?
It is safer.
But...
And this is amazing. I control all the car from this control.
- What is each button? - No idea. But we'll find out.
Honey, that's a swastika?
Yes, we will not use that.
My favorite part.
- Close the door on my arm. - Than?
You have a sensor. Does not close with one arm or leg.
- Honey, I will not do that. - The guy showed me the rent. Do it.
- Okay. - Do it!
- Do it. It's fun.
Close it.
Okay. Goes.
My God!
Damn!
My God! Why did I do that?
The sensor was not activated.
- Okay. - I'm an idiot.
- Do it again. - Absolutely no.
- I'll be fine. I activated it. - I will not do it!
- Do not be a coward. - It's okay!
Shit!
- Why did you do that? - Really?
're Right. Forgiveness.
- Watch your arm. - And James balls?
- You admit that I have balls? - Hang from your vagina.
- Just the two. - No time for that.
Go pack. We leave today.
Okay.
It seems that we will today. Come on guys
Honey. What is that all about?
Well, my dream journal...
... rarities record
daily wish...
my poems.
And this will be a travelogue monologÃ­as interior.
Yes
Come on, honey. Every boy that age has daily.
Okay, gang.
We put the belts!
Two full tanks!
Honey, GPS?
Yes. Understood.
Destination Walley World
Your destination is 4100 km
Walley World, here we go.
WRIGLEY FIELD HOME CHICAGO CUBS
We have almost no gasoline.
What?
How? Walked less than an hour.
Dad, why is special Walley World?
There are theme parks in our city.
Walley World is home to the only authentic ...
Velociraptor.
What the hell is that?
Is only the newest and most terrifying rollercoaster country.
137 meters high, 180 km per hour...
triple corkscrew.
Yes! Look at that!
It seems to have a convoy.
SaludÃ©moslo.
Heaven. Does Citizen Band Radio?
Comes in all Prancer.
- To talk to truckers. - Very good.
Guys, we must talk in their jargon.
'll Ask if there police later.
Breaker 1-9 to Patio de Goma.
Is there a Smokey Bear in your kitchen? Change.
Everything clean and green forward
- Answered! - I know!
- What does that mean? - No idea, but who cares?
- Seems sympathetic. - Yes, it seems, right?
Aware, good friend. Change.
Can I try?
Yes! Of course.
When finished talking, di "change."
- Okay. Brilliant. - All right.
Breaker 1-9 my friend Jessie says that truckers are rapists.
- Are you a rapist? - Kevin. Do not!
Sorry. Change.
- No! No. - What are you doing?
- What? It was a question. - You'll ruin everything.
Sorry about that good friend
You know, children will mouth .
I do not...
I am not suggesting that you...
them like children go mouth in any way.
I do not suggest that you are sex offenders
- Neither pedophiles.. - Do not!
Yes! So the CB, guys radio.
Lindo? huh.
Dad, what is a pedophile?
Well, Kevin, when a man and a child love...
No.
FUEL AND FOOD OF FIRST
- I have to pee. - I also.
Go with him, please, and watch him.
- Okay. - Thank you.
Look at that. They're closer ties.
Is not that the best?
Yes
Do you remember when you were to get your pilot's license...?
And we sat...
and talk about all those trips abroad we would do and others?
Yes, when I thought I would pilot one of the greats.
Know it's not the most glamorous airlines, but Air Econo...
has been good to us.
For me, being here with you.
's Paradise.
My cubicle was a hole.
You discovered a glorious hole.
- No. - Well, to the route.
The Help
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
What about you?
Just wanted to see how hard before passing out.
Do not do that! I could have died!
Whatever.
Dammit, Kevin!
MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE
Honey, why do you deviate?
It would be fun that kids knew your university.
God. Why would be fun for them, honey?
Lead us. Perhaps one study someday.
No. No way.
I have an eye on a distinguished .
Fuck.
- What, Mom? - I love you. I said that.
- I love you too. - I said I love you.
Let's see how far away.
It is 15 km from its destination
Good. Find the best route.
I changed the language.
This is not.
What is that?
I do not know. Â¿Korean?
God, it's awful! Turn it off, Russ.
You now have the menu in Korean, I do not know what score.
Why has the voice of angry?
Why not...?
Honey, does not like to be touched. Yes?
Leave him alone. Let subsides.
Memphis State University, Memphis State CILLEGE
Wow, this place has not changed anything.
Not fraternity?
Let's see your house.
No, honey. Should not we follow the journey?
No, come on. It will be fun.
's Just a boring old house.
Yes! That good!
I can not believe continue doing this.
What is that?
Cup race is the Tri-Pi.
Tomas drinks from a large mug of beer.
And then you must follow the course as quickly as possible.
Did you do this? For almost do not drink.
No. Yes But, honey is for charity, you see ..?
A BENEFIT OF RESEARCH sprinkle
Hello. Do you want to donate to "sprinkle"?
We are not just passing through.
Tri-pi went long...
The Carrera Cups was my idea.
- What was it? . - Yes
Wait, are you Debbie Fletcher?
Yes
Oh shit!
Oh shit! I can not believe you!
Girls! Come! Bring a book!
Is damn Debbie Fletcher.
- How do you know who I am? - God, are you kidding?
You a legend in Tri-pi!
Debbie Any-thing-ago!
- Debbie Any-thing-ago? - To play.
Yes, look!
- DEBBIE DOES ANYTHING! - You see
God?.
Do you really climb naked to watch?
Of course not.
What you showed boobs at all?
- Honey, we should go. - Wait.
Le metiste Dean finger on his cock.
Do you really burned Taco Bell?
I heard you slept with Anthony Hopkins.
I heard that if you shake your head...
gold coins out of your ass.
- Well, ladies. - Than?
I know very well my wife and she would not have done that.
You know what?
No matter whether I did or not.
Important that you idolize a very bad behavior.
Not seem Debbie-Any-thing makes.
He sensed it was just fame.
Not even invented the Race of glasses.
No, wait. Sorry.
Yes invented the Carrera Cups. Yes?
And I did.
- Sure. - Yes I did.
- In 16 seconds. - OK honey.
- Prove it. - Now you can not. Is old.
Excuse me, girl?
Not so, I just meant...
you're old.
Yes!
I never heard that laugh. Dislike.
Take my purse.
Why? You will not do that ..
Yes, I will. This race raised thousands of dollars for charity.
May not get good grades here, but at least I did something.
Yes, you did much perishes.
I've spelled its finger Dean's penis.
No matter where you put your finger burned or what.
Import...
these sluts missing me respect.
"Sluts"?
Come on.
Nobody tells me old. Fuck.
Well, small breasts, a pitcher! Go Go.
Tri-pi, miserable!
By God.
Three!
Two!
One!
Honey.
What are you doing mom?
He is giving a lesson to these sluts.
It is the best I've seen in my life.
Come on, come on!
Why throw up so much?
By Sprinkle.
Tri-Pi, miserable!
Mom, you have to hydrate.
What? What are you doing?
How about some music?
God, I can not believe it.
I love that song!
Guys, it's Seal!
Sing with me.
There was a gray solitary tower into the sea
Come on guys.
You became
In the light of my dark side
Deb?
Love remains a drug What is the effect and not the...
Guys? Do not?
Did you know...
Kevin?
When it snows...? Is this the James
My eyes widen and...
Sing a man or a woman?
He is a man! And the coolest thing there!
Exceeded lupus!
Baby
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on gray
I can not believe nobody wants taste.
Rarer I feel, yes
Batman Forever
Your pink has been opened
Val Kilmer .
The light hits the gray Darkness
He returned to kill.
- Accelerate! - That's what I'm doing!
FUEL
Faster, Daddy! Faster
- The Prancer not go faster! - What do we do?
Maybe if I press this button Rabbit, accelerate.
Yes! Try it!
- Why a button for that? - And Why a rabbit?
According...
Rocket! Rocket. Here. Try it!
What? What's up?
- Why I'm rotating? - I do not know!
- The wheel! - Not for!
- Accelerate! - Okay. Attempt to accelerate...
We will die!
I have the wheel. I have the wheel!
Okay!
What are we going to do ?
- I have an idea. - Than?
- Turn the parking brake. - Than?
Turned left, put freo hand...
do 180, cross the line and step.
- Do you know, Dad? - Vin Diesel can Yeah, me too.
You think like Vin Diesel? - Hold on!
Not trying to do that.
- Are you all right? - Fuck!
Start, Dad!
God.
Shit!
Damn.
Well, guys. This is yours.
The two mine!
A bed is yours.
If you need anything we will be next.
I saw a jacuzzi. Can I take a bath?
Yes, of course..
But if someone tries to get on a car...
give them a good scratch, as I taught you.
- I will. - All right. Good Guy.
Thanks.
So...
why you never told me that Debbie -anything ago?
Come on, it happened so long ago.
But it's part of who you are.
I want to know everything about you.
Okay, that's fair. What do you want to know?
How many slept before me?
No, no, no.
Come on.
Come on. That is not important.
- I know, but... - You really need to know?
- Just... - Okay.
- Curious. - It's okay.
Here.
And then...
You're taking a while.
Okay then, like...
- Tr... - Three.
Three!
That's comforting. Like me.
No. I said three.
Thirteen? Â¿Thirteen?
No.
And three non?
Thirty.
Thirty!
Go! Heaven.
Now I feel you judge me.
I judge myself.
Your number is much greater than mine.
Is a large number. but it does not matter. Honey, it does not matter.
're Great. I am a loser.
You're not a loser. According?
Yes! because I had to work hard to get those three.
I had to look after the grandfather of Jenny earn it for months before.
And he was racist.
Do not look at me.
At the time, it was crazy.
It was completely immature, last stripe...
And really free with my body...
and I am not.
We are not like that.
Well, we're pretty free with our bodies .
But you must admit...
I think we came back...
less free with our bodies.
We have weekly sex with our bodies.
Yes, but...
I mean, he became a little routine, honey.
Always turn on the same aromatic candle and all that.
I do not know, it would be nice vary slightly from time to time.
Yes?
It is not serious.
I'll go take a shower. Yes?
I'll shower with you.
We will have sex.
Yes! In the shower.
Are we free with our body, Debbie-ago-anything?
- I like that. - Yes
Russ..
Beware that you can not drop the soap.
No.
What?
It's fun and different.
I know. It is.
You're so cute when you exist.
You're always so tender.
Honey.
Shit! Are these mushrooms?
Someone blew his head off?
God.
Should we...?
Should hitting or...?
No, right?
Yes I'll see if there's anything how clean.
Maybe the maid left a...
Well, there's a sponge.
I'll...
- Russ. . - Yes
Not sponge.
It is a ball of pubic hair.
- My God. - It's both.
Who has so much pubic hair? It is not even possible.
No one person. Are different colors.
They are like 30 different types.
Shut up, Russ.
No. Sorry.
By the curtained windows
At night In a Friday night
A little light shining through the window
I do know that everything Will well
The summer breeze makes me feel good
Blowing through the jasmine in me...
're good.
God!
Sorry.
Not want to scare you.
- Hello. - Hello.
Were going in the Jeep.
And you, in that plastic bag.
... If my stupid brother.
If older brothers stink.
No.
Yes, higher.
'm Adena.
James.
I penis.
What?
Says and your guitar.
- The same brother. - What a jerk.
Yes
Do you want to get you?
Totally.
Well, what have we here?
A Romeo and Juliet situation?
My name is Russ. Nice to meet you.
I'm just a stranger who are passing.
But I can not help but notice how handsome is this young man.
What is your story? Do you have a girlfriend?
No.
What? You do not have a girlfriend?
So cute guy? Someone should steal.
- Should I call the police? - No.
and plays guitar.
The perfect guy!
Display your muscles.
- Do it! - Brother, no...
Take off your shirt. Shows muscle.
- I will not. - Do not be shy.
- Show us how you train. - It's okay.
Should go.
Are you sure you're okay?
I think so.
Okay.
Goodbye.
Damn.
Dad, why did you do that?
I saw you talking to her, I wanted to help.
He did not need help.
- It seems so. She left. - Because you came...
know James, when I was your age...
Grandpa Clark I sat and had a chat.
Verte with that girl, I did see not yet had that talk.
- It is not necessary. - Do not?
Come on, I know it's uncomfortable...
but would be uncomfortable being intimate with a girl know if...
where everything goes.
I know where to go.
Yes?
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Oh yeah? It's okay.
I just want you to know I'm to answer whatever you want.
For more uncomfortable it may seem.
Okay.
- Yes, fine. Here it goes. - It's okay.
Some school boys spoke of...
black kiss.
What is that? What is black kiss?
- Black kiss. . - Yes
SO BE-NE-GRO?
Black Kiss. Country of origin.
I do not know, United States.
You tell me in one sentence?
What is a black kiss, dad?
Well, black kiss.
I guess it's kissing someone mouth shut.
Yes? You just use the edge of his mouth shut.
- Is that all? - Insurance.
I thought it was something much more dirty.
No, what else could it be?
Further questions?
I think not.
Good talk, James.
Hope you're not too old for Dad you from...
a good black kiss goodnight .
WELCOME TO THE NATURAL STATE Arkansas
480 KM DALLAS HOUSTON 660 km
arrive home from Aunt Audrey before dinner.
Will Uncle Stone?
Yes, I suppose so.
- Uncle Stone is great. - Why is celebrity.
Not exactly a celebrity.
Da weather forecast.
Audrey said chains are interested in it.
- Yes? . - Yes
I'm happy for him.
Mom, Uncle Stone let me ride your horse?
I do not see why not.
- Can I fire their weapons? - No you can not.
Pity. I would have gone down the fucking horse shot.
I never imagined that my sister would marry such conservative.
That Stone has no our political ideas, it does not make it cute.
I mean...
Linda person.
- You said it! - Honey...
Look at that!
Hot Springs. We always wanted to go.
Honey, get home late Audrey .
Few minutes later.
're On vacation, right? Let's have some fun.
Okay.
- Look at that row. - This will be eternal.
Come on, guys. How many times can we get wet in hot water?
Every time you bathe.
No. This is different. Is natural.
Hot water of the womb of Mother Nature.
Yuck.
There must be another entrance.
I'll ask this gentleman. Sure you know.
Excuse me, sir.
- Hello. - Hello.
We wondered if there another entry to the baths.
The secret entrance used by the locals?
The line is long at this time of year.
Yeah, sure.
They say they will do.
See that dirt road? On the left?
Yes.
If it continues to the end, will take you to the hot springs.
Okay. perfect. Thank you.
No, sure. Enjoy it.
We will!
How you call your pet rat?
My pet?
What the fuck? What the fuck?
I do not know.
Honey, are you sure? No one comes here.
Most people have closed mind.
But who has an open mind?
Uncle Stone?
I. your father.
Honey, I see no therm.
The guy said they were at the end of the road.
The type not know I had a rat on her shoulder, so...
..no know.
One moment.
Honey. This is beautiful.
- It is, is not it? - Yes
All right, everybody..
In their swimsuits. Now!
It Looks like we found our private baths.
Let us call them. "Termas Griswold".
- The water is perfect. - OMG. Cute.
Why rotten egg?
It Is sulfate, buddy. Natural. - Yes
And it very well..
Actually. The minerals in this mud...
remove toxins from the body.
Can you believe it?
Great, right?
Go...
This is perfect.
It is just what we needed.
Yes Good idea, Griswold..
BLACK WATER HAZARD
- If that's. - That's. That's.
I feel like my body is detoxified.
You know...
tastes like shit, but I that is so. It's okay.
This is wonderful.
This is life!
What's that honey?
Ear. What you got in your ear?
What is it?
An ear!
James. A dart.
Are you crazy?
My God! Everybody out Termas Griswold!
- It's poop! - It's disgusting!
I do not like Griswold Termas.
Is the car alarm?
What?
Why the villager said he had thieves around here?
Course.
My guitar.
God. took all the money Russ.
Good. Not the best situation.
But hey...
He left your book.
So the last, laughs best.
Really, darling?
Naked and covered in human excrement.
Come on, honey. Do not know if it's human.
Plano Texas
That's so embarrassing.
I feel like the family your cousin Eddie.
It's not that serious. Will tell Audrey Stone and what happened.
Guys, do you remember what happened?
We saved a baby from a burning car.
Y someone robbed us all when we got distracted.
Why we are naked and covered in feces ?
I do not remember.
Right. We do not remember.
God.
Please.
- What do we do? - You give me a hand? Please.
Just...
Yes
God.
- I can not. No sale. - Use your saliva.
Okay.
Focus on the balls.
If they wanted to stop it would be nice also.
Follow balls. I have the penis
Hi all!
God. Hello!
What happened?
Well, it's...
It's a crazy story.
A dad cheated a type.
- Kevin! - Rusty always the same.
Would buy water from a faucet.
Well, they suck.
I have clothes to donate to the church...
if they want to pay them.
- Great. Thanks Audrey. - Go.
Heaven, stink.
I do not like.
This place makes our house look shit.
Well, Kevin, that's because one US dollar goes further here than in Chicago.
Especially when you win more.
Just kidding you.
You guys grow faster boil under a faucet.
Still struggles?
Come on. Show me what you got.
Kevin. Let your brother, please.
They're just fighting. That brothers do.
Look at you guys.
What good. Debbie Griswoid. More and more beautiful.
- Basta. - I'm serious.
Hot You'd come out of cold tap water.
How sweet.
I remember the night that estrenaste that dress.
- Do you remember that night? - I remember that night.
- I'll never forget that night. - I do not either, baby.
're My damn husband.
You bet. I am your caveman.
I'll break in two.
I want to have all your babies.
Baby.
I got the damn lottery you.
God, what I'll do tonight.
Who wants to see the game room of Stone?
Yes
Is Charlton Heston?
Yes Chuck was a good friend.
I do not know; few nights spent drinking whiskey together...
and crying by the state of the country.
True. Literally they wept together.
No I imagine crying, Stone.
Yes, that...
It's embarrassing, right?
It's not embarrassing to me.
Sometimes even the strongest tap lets out a few drops.
What you have with the taps?
Everyone thought the tornado dodge the county.
My Stone no.
I thought the low pressure system go straight to Mission Bend.
Thanks to my report, that people had more 15 minutes to evacuate.
Governor Perry said that saved 2,000 lives.
The amount we lost at Pearl Harbor...
so basically avoided Pearl Harbor.
They knock the national news.
Between us...
Looks good. No honey?
Nothing of this would have been possible without my sweet mom.
More sugar mommy.
Work for me to study meteorology.
I liked working, baby. She did not bother me one bit.
You'll never have to, dear.
But it gave me a target.
Never again. It is a promise.
Valla. Stone Uncle, do not share your political views...
but also I admire you.
Thanks, James.
But the man you admire most , is sitting next to you.
But no one.
I do not speak of that chair. I mean your dad.
Okay.
He has not saved lives.
No?
Every time piloting a small plane, saves lives by not crashing.
And for me...
makes him a hero.
Thanks.
Many people...
Not to mention that also was achieved...
this cute sweet pastry, his mother.
Gotta stop doing that. Basta.
I always wanted to know...
when did the first time?
- You all right, Deb? - Than?
Hey! There is a cow!
There is a cow is a halter.
Here's $ 6.000 and pure juicy Angus beef.
Raising cattle, new passion Stone. To put them name.
The old Sebastian loves the ribs.
Here.
Yes
Well, it is.
Dad, is not that...?
Cannibalism? Yes
If you want to get up early tomorrow.
Arriarlos can see me in the pen.
One moment.
Do arrias alone?
I am a man, right?
Yes.
Stone, if you know if you need a hand, but I would love to help.
Sure, Russ.
Always good an extra pair of hands.
Well, I was born with a extra pair of hands.
What a strange thing to say.
But that will be the highlight of your trip.
The real highlight, of course, will get to Walley World...
and take my family Velociraptor.
It seems so weird.
I do not know why you want to return if Dad went crazy there.
Aundrey, Dad mad because we loved and wanted us to be together.
And we are.
And just that I want for my family.
're So clown.
You're the clown.
Baby, I think Rusty right.
The family is the most important thing .
Have one thing...
Maybe we travel with baby Cooper this summer.
- Not to Walley World. God, no.
- Would be stupid. - It would be stupid.
What about Paris?
Oui
Oui oui oui
And again, I can get part-time job?
Not while breathe, honey.
Honey, I'm very happy for your sister .
- Yes? - Really.
She and Stone seem very much in love.
It's nice.
The pants that gave me Stone is stretched in the crotch.
How strange. Why would I be?
- God. I do not know. - Fuck.
How much they paid for this house?
Go.
Okay.
Go.
Do I see if Aundrey has a scented candle?
Fuck that. I want to do it now.
- God, you're so sexy. OMG. - What grabbed you?
What? What, what?
That's him, right?
What? Who?
By whom?
It is by Stone.
What?
Why you want sex!
You think about it!
That's ridiculous.
Why just we are with him...?
You become a sexual character?
Pretend I do not know why, but I tell you-
And your wedding ring?
God.
You did you get the ring?
No Rusty! I am left loose.
Do you remember that?
He must have gone somewhere.
What was the plan, Deb?
What you believe he single?
How maiden I believe with husband and two children?
- I do not know. It was your plan. - It was not my plan...
Okay.
Yes Stone is an impressive man.
Right?
But I married you, Rusty.
And I'm so sorry to have lost my ring...
but I never, ever wanted to remove me on purpose.
I know. I know, I just...
I went crazy. I'm sorry. I...
'll buy another ring.
I liked that.
Hello! Are they presentable?
- Yes Hello.. - Hello.
Just I wanted to make sure you have everything you need.
Yes
Okay.
This place is beautiful this time of year, right?
And silent. Listen.
Did you hear that?
- No. - Exactly.
Perfect silence.
Yes, yes.
TV remote control. I'll show you.
Have channels...
and volume.
On. Off.
- Quite clear. - Yes
- Great...
Okay.
If you are thirsty, no milk in the fridge...
Have a good night.
Okay.
- Good night, Stone. - Good evening.
Heaven.
Okay.
Only he came to show his abdomen.
Good morning!
Early.
Why are you doing this at 6 a.m.?
I have to be on the radio at 7:30...
time for the report of StoneCrandall AccuWather.
Have you ever uploaded to one of these?
No. Never.
But it should not be more complicated an Airbus A318.
Well, that's the spirit.
The key is to go ahead back along the pack.
Keep your distance. Should not scare them.
Understood.
Okay.
Have helmets?
I keep with tampons.
Only basic security.
It's exciting!
My favorite way to start the day!
And make love to your sister.
Thanks for that.
Come
Looks like we have a couple of rebels.
Take the left.
And I took the right.
Unless you need my help.
No, I think I can.
The last to reach the corral cowboy is wrong!
Come on!
Come on! Walking! Come on!
Hello!
Fuck!
My God!
Cow right?
The cow is not right, Russ. The walked through.
No, Sebastian.
Yuck.
Listen.
We could have lunch at a hamburger.
Know, like a...
One of those places where you buy from the car.
I do not know, Dad. I think we should...
"Res-pirar" a little.
- He was OK, James. - Well, enough, guys.
Dad hit a cow. "Follow-more" below.
I have one.
Yes? We hear.
James sucks.
Do not get the idea, buddy.
Dollhouse Collectibles Porcelain and Vinyl
FOUR CORNERS MONUMENT
HOSTERÃA MNARBLE CANYON ARIZONA
Wigwam Motel Holbrook, Arizona
Listen
What What?
- All right? - Yes.
- There's nothing wrong. - All right.
- What? - I have an idea.
It sounds crazy, but hear me .
- Yes - Well..
Is the Four Corners Monument...
which is the point where four states come together .
What?
Let's have sex there.
What?
Yes, we love in four states at once.
Wait.
Are you serious?
Yes
You talked out of the routine.
What it is more innovative than sex in a public monument?
Debbie ago -anything would.
That Debbie was a jerk.
Maybe we need that.
Be fools together.
What about the boys?
Well, Kevin is something idiot.
No, honey.
What will we do with them?
'll Be fine. They are asleep.
Back before they know it.
Okay.
- You're right. - Okay, let's do it.
FOUR CORNERS MONUMENT "CLOSED"
Mom?
Dad?
- James? - Mom?
Adena?
You're harassing you, or something?
No, what ?, no.
Just kidding.
Relax.
What happened with you pervert addressed in Arkansas?
Actually it was my dad.
I am trying to help.
God.
Helping really is frightening.
Do not play guitar tonight?
I was stolen.
What horrible.
I really liked to hear you play.
Yes?
Yes, always they attracted me musicians.
Well, well...
always attracted me because...
pretty girls.
Good move.
See? No need help.
It is here.
God. This is so illegal.
I know, it's so exciting, right?
Yes
'm Harder than a tap.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
No. I liked.
- Yes? . - Yes
Do you like spanking?
Yes!
Good, because I palmearÃ© ass.
Well, Russ!
Okay, here?
- We are about to do so abroad. - I know.
Would you put a finger?
Where?
- Forget it. . - Yes
Could voice down?
- Yes! - Care!
- Take my leg! - You slide so much sweat!
To have sex in the corners...
they have to wait in line.
- My God. - God.
God!
They're in every state!
Tatos breasts!
You. two! High!
Come on, let's
Hands up!
Run! Honey, run
Release the flashlight!
They know that immoral conduct public is a crime in Utah?
Yes Excuse me, officer..
- We are married and we wanted... - Tell it to the judge.
Makes me sick perverts, every night desecrate this sacred place.
- Overturn! Hands behind! - Than?
Not so fast, Tommy!
Rays! What are you doing here, Kyle?
They are in the state of Colorado . My jurisdiction.
?, Jurisdiction kiss my ass, Kyle.
Look at her left foot. 's In Arizona.
Piece of shit, legalizing grass.
Hey careful with our mouths.
Sorry, official Mormon.
Do not like that? I have an idea.
Cover your ears with Mitt Romney's cock.
Hey!
It seems that New Mexico awoke from his nap.
Problem?
I'll tell you, dreamcatcher.
're Using too damn turquoise.
No offense other traditions.
Go fuck your wives, Tommy.
From this it is what I mean. We do this every night.
What is this border?
Just an idea. Only that I say.
If it is just an idea, we arrested...
- Hey! - Get out of my state.
Yes? What will you do?
Take the foot of my state!
Want pisÃ¡rmelo?
- Back... - Is that what you want?
Ni spent!
Do not kick here! Do not start...
What do you think?
- He has a gun! - Fuck!
You think I'm afraid of?
I am not afraid!
How about that?
Do I look scared?
Are we going to...?
My mouth does not.
Do not do that.
I'll put it all!
Enough! Get down!
- Everybody down! - Down!
- You, get down!
'm The one who is cooperating!
- You too. Do it. - Get down.
- And hands? - To your right.
- At the sides? - One on each side.
- Let's do it. - Everybody down!
Okay. I think I finished.
Here they are really out all the stars.
Yes.
So...
what do you do?
I do not know.
Can you give me a black kiss?
- Go !? - Do not.
- What? - I do not know.
- What about you? - I do not know. I'm sorry.
What did you do?
I do not know.
I thought we could...
kiss?
Well, yes, that thought...
Yes OK..
Where are my parents, idiot?
I do not know, Kevin. Re-enter.
You were going to let that idiot kiss you?
Shut up, Kevin.
- Who is that? - My foolish little brother.
I thought you said it was your brother.
And... Damn!
Idiot.
Why do you hold that much?
What I do, return it? It is small.
It is a little shit. You do not have to endure that.
I thought he was doing the right thing.
Yes, it seems that you are working.
You know what?
To hell.
Okay. Do you want to do this now?
Forward, bitch!
Wait, what?
No, no.
Go. This is so easy. 're So small.
Will there be changes, Kevin. Stop bothering me.
- Enough! I'll tell mom. - Shut up.
Will you stop bothering me?
Stomach hurt me!
Say that you will not small piece of...
ass.
Wait, what?
- "Piece of ass"? - You understand.
What can I do to your face?
- It hurts, right? - Hears!
Like you touch ears?
Not for much.
You'll hit the front.
So not given a beating!
Very dehumanizing.
You hurt both the front.
Enough! What are you doing?
What tickles the lips?
This is very rare.
You estrujarÃ© cheeks.
- Will you stop bothering me? - It's okay. Stop doing this.
Thanks, Adena.
Has been...
the best night of my life.
What family so rare.
That was horrible.
At least the kids will never woke.
Move your ass.
passengers left side of Prancer...
will see the Grand Canyon out the window .
That's right. The last stop before Walley World
Adena H. Accepted your friend request
Relations
SELECT OPTION
is related
. Guys...
when I visited the Grand Canyon as a kid...
there was almost no chance of looking at it.
This time...
do much more than look.
- Great. - How good
GRAND CANYON EXPRESS WHITE WATER
Hello, friends! Hello!
Let's see, who do we have here?
You. must be...!
The Fung family!
It is a joke! They Are riswold, right?
Yes, it is.
Good. The face of the little saying:
"Fung?"
Well, I'm Chad. I will be your guide.
Okay. Hello, Chad.
They could not come at a better day. I'll get the equipment.
Guess, the river is high...
and I think it will be...
a beautiful ride, folks.
- Walking. - Very good.
Let's do it.
Jokes are over. Seriously.
Safety measures before entering the water.
First. Does anyone know this river? Because it's my first time.
Just kidding.
I've been working here three years, know the river perfectly.
I have my certificate Jack cereal box.
Just kidding, folks.
You see the child's face.
"A box of cereal Jack"? "One that"?
Just follow my instructions...
and have 50% chance of survival.
Joked. Look at the child's face.
"Surviving do not want to die!"
Excuse me a moment.
I called my fiancee.
We committed 14 days earlier.
But I answer, or the river is the only hot have today.
The river water is very cold.
Hello.
Go. This is impressive.
We sail through one of the largest aquatic treasures US.
- Kevin, do not beat your brother. - I did not do it.
Hear what he said about "water treasures", right?
Yes
What Did not hit?
- Is progress. - Go.
I do not understand. What say
Is that why?
I love you, you love me
Tanya, please! 's Think for a second, honey.
You're everything to me!
Tanya, no, honey
No, Tanya, no! Please!
No! Dammit!
Who's ready to go to the river?
You all right, Chad?
Yes!
It is not because I am committed.
So...
All aboard.
I'm not sure, Russ.
Come on.
He is kidding.
Control yourself
Everybody out of the boat
Now we can go home?
What?
Day are to Walley World.
Dad, think any cares Walley World.
The guys are right, Russ . We almost died.
Is not it time to retire?
I can not believe what I hear.
My God!
That has to be a sign. We must complete the journey.
Come on, boys, sing with me all.
There was a gray tower
Lonely at sea
- - You became the signal you are lost.
- It does not hurt. - Yes...
We must listen better!
Love remains a drug
No, no. He went.
- Let her go! - It's okay!
I thought you could sing "Seal" as a normal family.
FUEL
Rays!
- Now what? - Gasoline is finished.
God.
Okay.
Sure we find a gas station on time.
There is no mobile signal.
The pleasure will roadside assistance?
How we would ask?
Maybe control buttons?
Really? Will you keep pushing buttons?
Well, we never tried the hat.
Heaven.
My God!
Good. Now we know what makes the hat.
I will not accept the evadÃ­stica. One is the cake.
Come on, muffin.
- What? - Ripped.
- Yes! - Very good!
Must be the extra tank.
- No? - Cupcake?
Dad to the rescue!
Thank you, God. Alto, where are you going?
Stop! Wait!
- Make it stop! - I do not know how!
I'll push again the cake!
We'll handle it.
No. no. Please not say that.
Do not say you can handle this, Russ.
Right?
- We can. - No, we can not!
We can not!
Since we started the trip, nothing has gone right.
Please You can admit it was a mistake?
It was not.
No? We all wanted to come.
- I do not. - Me neither.
Nor.
You wanted.
I think we're a little upset.
We just have to...
all have to...
Shit!
I give up!
I wanted to take my damn family to Walley World...!
And climb the damn Velociraptor!
There is a stone there!
I'm a fool who tried unite his family, right?
What I won? Children who do not want to be with me and an unhappy wife.
- Russ. - Come on, Debbie.
You know it's true. You conformaste.
I consider a loser regional pilot.
Guess what...
I always offer international routes.
And the rejection. Why?
Because do not want to be away from you so long.
I'm an idiot!
Should accept such a job, fly Pyramids Zambezy...!
And the Lost Gardens of...
where shit is!
Just forget it.
Forget all this stupid trip.
They are free.
Sure they find a better husband and father.
A cowboy with good abs.
Take you to Paris...
... and the fight
and books.
What...?
Where are you going?
As if he knew!
God.
These weeds are full of hard things!
What ..?
No!
Help!
Stop!
VamosÂ¡Â¡Vamos!
Help!
No!
Help!
- Do not kill him! - Dad!
I'm so sorry.
When I called pedophile, was...
No! Do not! do not.
Not in front of my family!
His wife left it off at Missouri,
I thought I would like it back.
God.
Wait!
Is my ring?
This man wanted to return it all the time.
I do not know how to thank you.
Not required.
I was on my way.
Not a rapist?
It seems that your car was ruined.
Where to go?
A house I guess.
Good. I can take them to San Francisco. Does that help?
Yes
Yes, that helps.
Thanks.
Come on, guys.
Thanks.
- She Not yet replied. - Kevin.
HosterÃ­a Ashbury Lane
Well, thanks for bringing us. We thank you.
You never told why you the teddy bear.
Yes
Children feel more comfortable.
Yes? Have children?
No.
Good. Take care.
I guess that's it.
If tomorrow we will take a plane home.
Do not stay here! It's the worst hostel!
Should close this place!
The owner is a lunatic!
I hope to return.
Hello!
Look who came!
Ellen!
There you are. They arrived!
Hi, Dad.
She made us so happy that call.
How was the trip?
- A long history. - A hug.
- Hi, Grandpa. - Come here.
My God! How great you are!
Come, come.
- Grandfather. do not do that. - I. Yes.
- Russ. - Clark.
No. What I have.
I'm fine.
This hurts.
And the cake blew it.
But no matter, because all luggage ...
had been stolen by the type of rat.
Even my guitar was stolen.
James, how terrible.
A musician without his instrument is as bad as...
a shoemaker without toilet seat.
Might have something for you.
It is very fragile. Look.
- Take care. - Well, Grandpa.
Thank you.
- Great! - Yes!
There seems, is a very special guitar.
Bob Dillon gave it to me.
"The" Bob Dylan?
No. A Bob Dillon.
D-I-L-L-O-N.
An accountant friend of mine.
But he gave it Jimmy Hendricks.
- "The" Jimi Hendrix? - No.
And how will the business inn?
We love it. It's great.
We love guests. Addressing people forever.
We like people.
Hey guys. Do you mind if we join?
're Busy.
Out!
Guys, it's getting late. To the bed.
Yes! I go with you.
- Good night. - Good evening.
- Thanks. - Sleep well.
Go have adventure.
Yes, "adventure" is one way of putting
- How is Audrey - Great.?.
She and Stone seem very happy.
Yes "seem".
- What do you mean? - Your marriage is a sham.
What?
Sleep with anyone. Years.
God.
Would Audrey had a more solid as you and Rusty marriage.
The Help
Is your marriage is Dying
Hey, Russ, can we talk?
I knew we had problems. So Serious?
Our marriage is dying?
No.
A marriage dies only when you stop trying.
And you you never left trying.
I just think...
maybe I do.
What do you mean?
I only thought of myself.
Wanted to change the routine, travel to exotic destinations ... and.
That has nothing wrong.
I went crazy to believe that unite us locking them in a car one week.
But you did for us.
You worked While this trip memorable for us...
and I did not appreciate it.
Why would you?
I mean, I put you through hell situations.
Literally, a lagoon fucking in Arkansas.
You deserve better.
What better than you?
How many men sacrificed his career for his family like you?
I do not sacrifice anything.
I have everything I ever wanted.
- Debbie. - Yes?
Still you are my wife?
I wondered when you tell me that.
Still I wondered if you wanted.
I want.
One moment.
Will we?
Yes.
'll Give you hard.
- Russ! - Than?
Lock up.
I'll close that door, shit.
Hi, Dad.
Good morning, Rusty.
Could you take us to the airport in the afternoon?
There is a flight to Chicago at 4.
Chicago?
What Walley World?
No. I had enough.
A nightmare.
That's the family vacation. But you can not give up, Russ.
Why not?
Always say " No matter the destination, but the journey", is not
The trip sucks.
It's what makes appreciate the destination.
You dreamed with your family at Walley World.
I know I did not.
How we would arrive at Walley World? We do not have car.
- Hey, come on. - It's enough.
Leave that to me.
Wrong truck.
Could you take me to Nissan?
No. No.
Wait, Dad, were not going to the airport?
Children! Ago when his father a promise is fulfilled.
- That's not right. - This sucks.
Go.
This place is huge.
This is the fucking.
Kevin.
I told them I would love, right?
Look, Dad.
Is fucking great.
I know, right?
- Boys! - Wait!
There it is.
Velociraptor.
I can not believe we got.
I know.
Ready for the game of his life?
- Yes - Hell, Yes
To be honest, looks overwhelming..
Come on! A race!
Yes, come on! Faster!
TIMEOUT APARTIR 4 HOURS HERE
3 HOURS FROM HERE
2 HOURS FROM HERE
Two hours, guys.
1 HOUR FROM HERE
2 HOURS FROM HERE
God.
Well, guys. What a thrill!
Yes!
We made it! It is the reason of the trip.
PASS WALLEY PLATINUM
Sorry.
What was that?
Last lap today. Closes.
- We were. - Than?
- That's not right. - It will be a misunderstanding.
Hey. Excuse me.
Us you slipped.
No, I have Platinum Pass. Do not rows.
Already climbed five times.
4,000 Km We were in a car going up to this game.
Can not take our place.
One moment, you...
Econo Air.
Yes?
How nice to see you.
Well, I'll tell you...
Why you and your family are not going to hell?
Sorry, guys.
Okay.
're A dead man.
Okay.
Kevin, no!
Wait, James. You're not going to fight.
I will not stand here like nothing.
What?
Shit!
No. Kevin, Kevin, no, come on.
They're fucking crazy!
What kind of family they are?
We are Griswold!
See you...!
Piece of ass!
- Let's do it. - Very good.
He had not fought well.
The first car, right!
Our family broke the ass to the other.
We did.
He scratched his arm that girl.
I saw it, honey. Was a good scratch.
Fingers hurt me but I'll be fine.
Heaven. Come on!
- Hold on. - God!
There was a gray solitary tower into the sea
You became
In the light of my dark side
Love remained a drug
What is the effect and not the pill
But know
< i> That when it snows
me eyes are enlarged and
The light that emit You can see
Russ
Yes?
It is thus supposed to head ?
I do not think so.
So you got stuck?
So it seems.
me are swelling eyes
sure we immediately fall
Well, what do you think Walley World?
Yes.
Listen, guys
Do not know how much it meant for me to travel together.
I love more than anything in the world.
If you could, would every day with you.
See you in a week.
Wait, what?
The Peterson collected at the O'Hare, they will stay with them.
What about us?
I will go where I should have been long ago.
How did you get tickets to Paris?
I used my contacts as a pilot.
're Amazing.
're My queen, and deserve to be treated as such.
Know it's not first class...
or tourist...
Honey...
is perfect.
Yes?
So...
How long is the flight
Twelve hours
perfect .